My husband wrote a blog post that has inspired me to write again. Back in February I had decided I was going to attempt to blog on a weekly basis but as you can see, that hasn’t happened.

I don’t know what made me feel I was up to the challenge, February of all months was crazy busy. We had appointments coming out the wazoo! Sadly, since then it hasn’t really improved. We still have appointments, but they are far more regular and easy to work around.

My husband and I also have some serious health conditions. As far as we know, they are separate. Mine showed some improvement, but in the last few weeks I’ve come down with some rotten colds, fevers, and the flu. It wouldn’t be so bad, but I can’t take any remedies because I’m not allowed to mix anything with the current medication I’m on.

So alas, I’m lying here on my couch, wearing a toque, covered with a blanket, and surrounded by pillows. I haven’t moved in the last 3 hours at least. When I did move, it was only to come from lying in bed upstairs, to down here. The curtains are open and the sun is coming in, and it’s just beautiful outside. All of my animals are lying in the sun, and I’m afraid to open up the house to get a breeze, because that would defeat the purpose of me being bundled up in the first place. Boo.

However, my husband has some great sympathy and has been the best companion in the world. He keeps coming home with new treats for me to keep me relaxed. I have new massagers, some that vibrate, some that don’t. I have new video games for the DS, which was converted from blue (his) to pink (mine), and a brand spanking new PSP. I’m not quite sure how that works yet, but with all of the electronics and toys I don’t ever have to move.

I also have a Sony Ereader which is loaded with hundreds of books. I loaned that out to a friend though because I wasn’t using it often. I still like the feel of regular books. But now, my friend is going on and on about how great the Ereader is, and that makes me want to give it another shot.

I guess being sick has it’s benefits. Though I think I still prefer being healthy. Hopefully soon.

Did anyone else hear about Elaine Hess? She was awarded eight million dollars when her husband died of lung cancer. “Stuart Hess died in 1997 at age 55 after decades as a chain smoker.”

Ahem, what did he think would happen? So here he is smoking away, filling his lungs, body, and the rest of the room with filthy smoke, he can’t NOT know the consequences. Even in the 90s, I am positive they taught ‘stop, drop, and roll’ during the fire safety lesson in school. Smoke rises, and you’re to stay close to the ground to avoid inhaling too much. THIS IS TAUGHT IN SCHOOL!

Ok let’s say that Stuart didn’t go to school, or he didn’t go to a school that teaches this. Let’s say he’s never heard of the ‘stop, drop, and roll’ rule before. What part of him thinks, ‘hey, smoke is good for you’? Would he run into a burning building? Or stand in front of it? That’s ok, if he died, his wife would sue the Fire Department for not putting the fire out before he happened to walk by.

Elaine claims that this tobacco company was misleading people for years. Are you kidding? Did they come out and say “smoking is good for you, tobacco tastes like cherries”?

No they didn’t. All smokers and non-smokers are fully aware of the consequences. Perhaps not at the time when cigarettes first came out, but I would bet that for a good 30 years before Stuart died, this would be common knowledge.

How many smokers do you know that say “I know I could get cancer, but it will be worth it?” I think they are deluding themselves. They’re probably thinking, even if I die young, I’ve lived a good life. They’re not thinking of all the pain and suffering that comes with a cancerous death, but just because they’re not thinking about it, doesn’t mean they are ignorant. This isn’t worthy of a lawsuit.

Elaine Hess states ”It was about doing the right thing. I just really hope this can help all the thousands of families who have also suffered.” I know you’re sad at the loss of your husband. But there is nothing right about his choice to smoke in the first place. You should not be awarded for his mistake. Unless you are giving your money to the other families who have suffered this kind of loss, they are not going to benefit from this lawsuit either.

Rewarding bad behaviour is not a lesson we should teach or follow.

But since it worked for Elaine Hess, here is what I suggest we do. Smoke until your death. If you’re a non-smoker, there’s still a chance for you yet.

My husband made a good point of saying that this is the equivalent of suing a fast food chain for obesity.

So to all you hamburger loving, fatties out there. Knock yourself out. When you die, your spouse can sue a fast food chain for some big bucks. I see this as a win-win. First, you get to eat all you want and not watch your weight. Second, you die with a smile on your face AND your spouse gets to wallow in millions of dollars to wash away the pain and suffering of your loss… or her loss… whatever makes more sense.

Just go for it. This is the lesson learned. Abuse your body if it makes you happy. Your spouse will be happy with the money in your afterlife. It’s like winning the lottery for being stupid.

Thanks Elaine, I hope we all can learn the big lesson here.

http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2009/02/18/business/AP-Florida-Smokers.html?_r=3

Dear Jac,

I’m struggling to lose weight and I’ve tried everything aside from surgery. I’ve tried the cabbage soup diet, the no-carb diet, even some of the ‘pill’ diets, but alas nothing works.

Is there anything you can suggest that won’t cost me a fortune?

Thanks,

Sue

Hello Sue!

Ah, this is a great question. I also struggle with my weight. I lost 25 pounds for my wedding by going on the Bernstein diet. Let me tell you about this diet, it costs a fortune, the doctors and nurses were quite rude (to me anyways) and I basically had to starve myself. So sure, the diet worked, but I was a vegetarian before the diet and once I was off I craved a burger like nobody’s business.

I now eat red meat on occasion and have gained all the weight back. It was a waste of money, yes, but I looked fantastic for my wedding so I guess that’s what counts.

I’ve seen other people go on the lettuce and ice cube diet. That’s exactly how it sounds. Ridiculous. I’ve seen one guy eat a soda cracker and pass on the second one because he’d had his fill for the day.

If it were up to me, weight would not be important. I don’t even care about the weight I’ve gained back. I’m not disappointed in the least. I eat what I want, when I want and I’m happy. Life is too short to waste all the good food. So live life, be merry, and eat what you want.

But this is probably not what you want to hear. So let me tell you what has worked for me in the past.

1. Substitute healthy foods for non-healthy foods. Convince yourself that you are eating chocolate when you are really eating celery.


2. Eat smaller portions and more frequently. Instead of eating 3 big meals, try to have 6 smaller ones. Or keep your 3 big meals as big and healthy, but make sure you have a snack in between the meals. Eggs (egg whites-only if you want to be really healthy), raw vegetables, and baked (not chocolate covered) almonds are good snacking foods. You really should be consuming food every couple hours. Keep it nice and light. Starvation doesn’t work.


3. Drink lots of water. You’re supposed to drink something like 8 cups per day. If you drink a cup of water with your snack and two cups with your meal, this is an easy feat.


4. If you are one of those people that eat food before you go to bed, that needs to stop. Set yourself a time, and don’t eat anything past that time. Say 8pm as an example. If you’re hungry past that time, drink water. If that doesn’t work, have Jell-O. Check the ingredients on the box, Jell-O is actually flavoured water so you can trick yourself into thinking you’re eating when you aren’t. Celery and cucumbers work that way too.


5. Most importantly, the cardinal rule: everything in moderation. Allow yourself that chocolate bar every once in a while. You need to reward yourself for good behaviour.

Exercise is good too. But I hate exercise. Try getting up and walking around for a while. Get yourself outside for at least 30 minutes a day. Maybe you’ll start running after a while, but I never did. Maybe you’ll increase your 30 minutes to 1 hour. I did that a few times.

I also think it’s best not to say the ‘diet’ word. You never need to say “I’m on a diet” you can say “I’m eating healthy today” instead. Don’t worry about the next few days, just today. I had a friend who quit smoking that way. She didn’t say “I’m quitting smoking” she said “I am not having a cigarette today.” She did this every day until she could finally find it safe to say “I’ve quit.”

There is no carry-over rule. If you tell yourself you get one treat or ‘cheat’ per week you stick to it. If you were good this week, that doesn’t mean you get two next week. Just like the opposite is true. If you have two treats this week, because of a slip up, that doesn’t mean you punish yourself next week. The minute you start punishing yourself, the more frequent the slip ups will be and there goes your “weight loss” plan. Just be confident. Stay positive.

You’ll start to feel better for sure. And that’s what counts. Don’t check the scales, don’t get out the measuring tape. These things are numbers and numbers are irrelevant.

The healthier you eat, and the more active you are, the better you will feel. Feeling good is what is important, the number on the scale is meaningless.

• Disclaimer: Jac Star is not a trained or qualified psychiatrist, although she does read a lot of books. The advice given here should not be substituted for professional counseling. Mainly because it’s free. And professional advice usually isn’t. If you have a question you’d like Jac to answer, please email her with the topic “Dear Jac” and she will try her best to offer you her worldly advice. Hopefully.

If you enjoyed this post, please feel free to leave a comment and subscribe to my feed or by email to receive the latest updates.