I wrote an email to my husband and before I post it, there are some things you need to know.

1.  I was spending the night at my mother’s, because I had errands to run the next day and it was easier to do it from her place. There was no fighting or any other silly reason.

2.  Danny (my husband) is here in Canada on vacation (according to the government). He’s been here waiting patiently since 2006 for his residency to come through. Each time he calls the government to see how his status is coming along, they give him another excuse and tell him to call back in a month or two. It is Danny’s responsibility to call the government each day to find out the status and hound them until he gets it. He fails to make these phone calls regularly.

3.  We have three cats and two dogs and they are all male. My dogs are hairless and there is a picture of them on my most recent rant – “I Smell A Rant – 6”.

4.  I wrote the following email to my husband just to say good night and remind him how I love him so.

To my Danny,

You drive me nuts at the best of times and I often think that “you don’t care” – especially when you don’t fix the government problem…

But I love you so very deeply and I just can’t picture my life any other way. You are my heart and I think I forget to tell you that.

I am pulling a ‘Danny’ – I tell everyone else how much you mean to me but I forget to tell you.

You’re so smart and clever and funny and charming and everything.
You’re everything.

You don’t just complete me, you are my better half. You are the most of me.

And you made room for my dogs and cats. To all the men in my life, furry or not, I love you.

Thank you.

Can I have sex now? No? Did I ruin it?

K, well I still love you.
Thinking lots about you as I sleep like a starfish in this big empty bed.

xoxox

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So there is this new post called 25 Random Things on Facebook. It seems to be all of the rage amongst facebookers.

Now I am forced to learn how to make notes and tag. I figured, taking the time to write 25 things about me was worth sharing with my fellow bloggers.

1. I am addicted to coke. Coca cola. I recently tried to kick the habit, and am now suffering from heavy withdrawals, including constant headache, the shakes, mood swings, cravings, and weight-loss. I’m ok with the last symptom.

2. I started a blog. www.justkickinit.ca check it out. Subscribe. I try to write on a daily basis (except on weekends).

3. I usually spend my weekends holed up in a bedroom. This isn’t as kinky as it sounds. I’m either spending countless hours on a jigsaw puzzle, reading a book, or sleeping.

4. Jigsaws are my new hobby. I feel extremely satisfied after solving just one piece. Then I ask my husband if he sees the difference since the last time I asked.

5. I also love reading and try to read a new novel each week. This is an easy feat if I am enjoying the book. If I don’t like it, it takes me longer but I almost always finish it. Only once did I throw the book out the window… of a moving vehicle.

6. Speaking of books (and puzzles), I joined all of the other pre-teens and teen girls in the Twilight Phenomenon. Yeah, I don’t care if the grammar is poor, when you’re 16 you don’t notice these things. I like to pretend I’m 16. I’ve bought all of the books (multiple copies of each) and all of the paraphernalia including key chains, bracelets, and puzzles.

7. I have 5 animals, 3 cats and 2 dogs. If I had it my way, I’d live on a farm in the middle of no where and open the place to all strays. My hubby would help, but other than that I don’t want to see people, lol. They just get on my nerves.

8. My biggest pet peeve is people who don’t understand common etiquette/rules. Like “walk left, stand right” on escalators, and “let people off the elevator before you try to get on” – these are things everyone should know. I’m going to write a book on it.

9. I am also annoyed with people who purposely spell things incorrectly. “Da boyz R hott” or “wen R we gwon oot” Are you really saving time typing like that? I’m pretty sure it’s the same amount of letters as spelling it properly. LOL, LMAO, and NP don’t bother me as much. These are common phrases that when condensed, do save time.

10. I am a Guitar Hero legend. Well, I kick some butt on the medium level and try really hard on the difficult level. But I am so far from expert it’s not even funny. My eyes can’t see that fast and my fingers just don’t move that quick.

11. I have +1/-1 vision. This means that one of my eyes is near-sighted and the other is far-sighted. It also means that I have little to no vision. I have astigmatisms in both eyes, no depth perception in my right eye, and very little peripheral vision. Basically this means, my entire world is like Paper Mario… I’m singing the theme song now.

12. My real name is Jacki Brown. I married a famous writer, Dan Brown. OK so he’s not THE Dan Brown of Angels and Demons and The Da Vinci Code, but he’s my Dan Brown. He writes, he writes well, and he’s famous to me. If you don’t know him yet, you should. He’s the best man in the world, number two only to my grandfather. www.dannybrown.me

13. I met my husband on the internet. Though most people know that already. He proposed to me before we ever ‘met’ in reality.

14. I like reality shows, but not all reality shows. American Idol is good. Canadian Idol is bad. So You Think You Can Dance – good. So You Think You Can Dance Canada – bad. America’s Next Top Model – good. Canada’s Next Top Model, can’t say I’ve seen it. America’s Best Dance Crew – good. I’m not sure there is a Canada’s Best Dance Crew yet, but I’d probably watch it. I am Canadian after all. We need better judges.

15. I love my running shoes. I’ll wear them until the soles give out. I have a pair of running shoes now that I’ve had for years and the holes are ridiculous. I’ll wear them in the rain and I never complain about wet feet.

16. I’m known for my rants. People often give me things to discuss, just to hear me tear a strip off something. Read my blog for examples. I have a whole section dedicated to that.

17. I rode a horse one time. Actually I took ‘lessons’ back in the day. That consisted of riding a horse for a week. Not consistently. My husband found that interesting.

18. I express anger through the power of song. Nothing beats blaring rage music for all to hear. Or deafening myself through headphones. At least I won’t be able to hear you complain about it.

19. If I move my lip ring and wet my lips, I can whistle one single note. But not when anyone can hear. Even my dogs don’t seem to notice.

20. I can’t dance. It’s not that I’m rhythmically challenged, I can find the beat, I just don’t know what to do with it. I can however, mimic anyone on the dance floor so people think I have talent sometimes. I’m a fraud.

21. Nothing amazes me more than the human heart. We can pretty well survive without anything other than that. It pumps blood throughout the body making sure all other organs get what they need so that they are capable of functioning as well. We can survive without a brain, I’m pretty sure I’ve met people born without a brain. We can’t survive without a heart. It also can survive heartache and pain, and has an infinite amount of space for love. Infinite.

22. My ‘top 5′ changes periodically. New men, new tastes. etc. But Ewan McGregor will always be my #1. Jeffrey Dean Morgan is becoming a permanent ‘top 5′ member as well.

23. I’d give the shirt off my back for a friend in need, and I’d never ask for anything in return. If I have it and you need it, it’s yours.

24. I collect Sleeping Beauty items but don’t own the movie. Weird. I should really get that. I also collect Twilight items, but that just started within the last 6 months.

25. I have many heroes. Chris Carrabba got me through university and other difficult times. Rob Dyer is an inspiration to all, look him up. My mother. Gosh, I just can’t say enough about her. Anyone who has met her would agree. My husband. He single-handedly makes the world a better place. www.12for12k.org

And since my #2 is obvious to anybody reading this, I’ll give you a #26. I didn’t know it was possible to ruin food that comes in a box until I met my husband. He seems incapable of reading directions like “1 cup milk” or “drain first, add mix” and has thus ruined Kraft Dinner, Hamburger Helper and other simple foods. I suppose he just doesn’t like the limitations of the box. He makes a mean beef stew.

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The news broadcasts even gave the Hindi version translation - which was not even close to our National Anthem I am not the least bit sorry if this offends ANYONE, this is MY COUNTRY; My Grand Dad served in the military, other family members also served, as well as my wife & I served a combined total of 56 years between us. We made many sacrifices for our country and do not feel we should feel obligated to allow invited people we’ve welcomed with open arms to influence & change our society to better resemble the one they chose to leave to come here!!! - IF YOU AGREE ABOUT THIS GREAT COUNTRY, SPEAK UP BEFORE ITS TOO LATE

I am not against immigration. In fact I believe we need more, my ancestors were immigrants – just come through like everyone else. Get a sponsor; a place to lay your head; have a job; pay your taxes, live by the Rules AND LEARN THE LANGUAGE as all other immigrants have in the past — and LONG LIVE CANADA!’

Well, I agree and disagree. Let’s discuss the anthem part first. You’re in Canada, you sing the Canadian Anthem. PERIOD. You don’t get to change the words. You don’t get to change the song. If you don’t feel patriotic, then don’t sing. Our country is full of immigrants. It is what it is. We adapt to all sorts of different aspects of life, but the anthem is our own. The anthem is to be sung in our national language. We have two national languages and we all know how to sing the anthem in both.

You could travel Canada from coast to coast and introduce yourself to everyone in the country. You will come across every single language, possibly every dialect as well. But our national languages are still English and French. So even though there are classes and schools for different languages, and many feel inclined to learn these languages, we are not about to change the anthem. Honestly, if we do it for one language, we have to do it for the rest. We already know our anthem in two languages, how many other countries can say the same? Perhaps there are plenty. But how many other countries have taken to singing other anthems? Defeats the purpose if you ask me.

If we’re going to learn the anthems of all countries and all languages and sing them all in Canada, we should also learn to write them in different languages as well.

Does anyone want to learn how to sing the anthem in wingdings? It’s all the new rage.

Oh Canada. We stand on guard for thee. This is sung “flag, squiggly lines, thumbs up, Cancer sign, SQUARE (note this SQUARE is different from lower case square which is the hollow one), Cancer sign, Libra sign…”

This is quite difficult to keep in tune, but who are we kidding, wingdings doesn’t need to be sung in tune. Ridiculous? Of course it is. But so is singing the anthem to a country you’re not even in.

Now for my disagreement. Sure I like immigrants. The more the merrier. But the process just isn’t as simple as “get a sponsor, get a job.” My husband is a ‘visitor’ to Canada. This means he doesn’t even qualify as immigrant. My sponsorship was approved two years ago, but yet the immigration process is still in the works. People are welcome to migrate to Canada from any country, but my husband isn’t from any country – he’s from the UK. The UK and Canada fall under the same common wealth government. Doesn’t that mean anything? You’d think if we all follow the same general rules, migration would be easy. But alas, this is certainly is NOT the case.

My husband has lived in this country for over two years waiting for the immigration process to come to it’s fruition, and he already speaks the national language. I want to know what all these other immigrants are doing? How did they speed up the process?

As for the language thing, I really don’t care what language you speak and I’m not going to force you to learn English and/or French. But if you don’t know either of these languages, please don’t work in the customer service field. If you have direct contact with the public, you really should learn the language.

I don’t want to play charades when I order my lunch, I just want to eat. I’m really a patient person, and if you want to have a casual conversation with me, despite your lack of fluency in the English language, I’m ok with that. I understand it’s difficult to learn, with all of our slang, synonyms, and so forth. Let’s chat. I’ll even play Pictionary if it helps. But I really need you to avoid running a business, unless you can hire staff that speak the national language.

I’m not going to be rude, or go overboard with this rant. Honestly, Canada is the home of multiculturalism and the land of the immigrants. I embrace that.

How else will we learn new things?

But leave our anthem alone. That’s the one and only thing we have.

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