You know what really grinds my gears – the ignorant ladies that I came across these last few days. So ignorant in fact, I may have to space out my blog posts.

First, there is the original ‘ignorant old lady’ (from previous posts) who I used to see at the bus stop everyday until I decided to take great lengths to avoid the b’yotch. You know, the one who always has to be first on the bus and off despite the long queue of people who arrived at the bus’s door first?

She just irked me so much that I actually decided to wake up sooner, leave the house earlier, walk the ten minutes in the opposite direction just so I could catch the bus at the mall and not have to wait at the stop with her. If I’m running a little behind I still catch the bus at the mall and would rather be late for work and thus have to stay late at work to make up the time then deal with that damn broad at the stop.

We are still on the same bus together but she usually just passes me and chooses someone at the back of the bus to irritate. Yesterday morning, however, I was not so lucky. The bus had less people than usual and I was sitting in my typical seat at the front of the bus, farthest from the heat, on a three-seater bench. Let’s say I’m in seat #1 for simplicity.

Ignorant Old Lady gets on the bus and sits in seat #3 on my bench. The part that starts the grinds my gears rant is when she decided to place her two bags on the seat between us (seat #2). I guess her enormous Mary Poppins bag deserves a seat on it’s own and can’t go on her lap like everybody else. Heaven forbid she put it on the floor in front of her or under her seat. Heck no!

Not one but BOTH of her silly bags have to be on the seat between us. AND bag #2 is resting nicely against MY lap. Well the Ignorant Old Lady recognizes this and moves her hand on top of the plastic bag, which I can only assume is her lunch. I believe this is her way of telling me that she does not want me to steal her valuable plastic bagged meal.

In case I didn’t understand this small gesture, she makes it more obvious by picking up the plastic lunch bag, tying it, and placing it BACK on the seat STILL touching my lap.

Her lunch is safe now, right? No! Even after knotting her bag she feels that I will steal it so she decides to store it safely inside her Mary Poppins bag. Well that’s good, it’s no longer touching me. But given that Mary Poppins bag is still on seat #2, the lunch is still within my grasp. Well Ignorant Old Lady must be on to my clever tricks, so she locks her arm through the handle of her bag and clenches on for dear life.

Alas, NOW her lunch is safe. Surely I won’t be able to take it from her. Oh sigh, this is still not enough for the old broad. She turns her body completely to face the front of the bus (and myself) and guard her bag with all her might. She crosses one leg over the next and starts to do this ridiculous twitchy thing which leads me to believe she’s practicing for the doctor’s reflex test.

Now that she’s kicking me I’ll leave her lunch alone. You know? A normal person would put their bag on their lap if they were so concerned for its contents. But Ignorant Old Lady who has no consideration for others or awareness of her surroundings would rather go to these lengths to PISS ME OFF!

I meant to blog about these things individually last week and got so busy.

Here’s my long list of catch-up!

A while ago, there was a power outage in my neighbourhood. I still had to go to work. I have to somehow walk through the unlit streets to my bus stop. I have to cross the danger street where on a GOOD day, at least 3 cars run the red light. Now there are no lights so it’s anyone’s game. I hold my breath, wait until the car beside me (going the same direction that I am) moves, then I close my eyes and run like hell. The people at the bus stop are cheering me on and as soon as I get there they say “we did it too!”

Exhilarating to say the least. Now it’s time for the crabby old lady who I often talk about. You know, the one who pushes everyone out of the way to get on the bus first. She strolls across the street like she owns it. She doesn’t seem to care that the lights are down and there are cars coming from all directions. She takes her time crossing, she doesn’t look up, and she doesn’t even wave a thank-you to the cars nice enough to stop.

I understand that pedestrians have rights, but really, if that car chooses to run the light (or the intersection) and he hits you. That’s car-1, crabby old lady-0.

On this same day, I notice an empty garbage can flying around the middle of the street. Given it’s dark out AND there are still no lights, I think that’s unsafe. Suppose a car hits it and gets into an accident, or the swerve to miss it and get into an accident. As a concerned bystander, I take the time to move it off to the side. I run to get it before any car can hit me, and bring it back. Woot. Pat on the back to me. So what? That was a measly minute out of my day but by the time I get back to the bus stop, crabby old lady is now at the front of the line and gets on the bus first. I hate that woman. Now every morning I walk the 8 minutes out of my way to catch the bus at the mall so that I can avoid her all together. She ruins my morning. Not anymore, crabby wench!

I know I’ve mentioned my beef with the subway patrons. But don’t you hate it when you’re clearly trying to get off the train, and people are already pushing their way on? Where are you going to go once you’re on? No where, as I’m still trying to get out. I close my eyes, stick out my elbows and go. Move or don’t move, I’m getting off.

The other day, there was a medical emergency on a train ahead of me. All trains were stopped. We had to get off and catch a bus to the nearest working subway station. So we are all herded off the train. And the people behind me are pushing and trying to get past.

Dude! It’s a bottle-neck. There are hundreds of people and only one doorway. We all have to get there, wait your turn. Pushing past me is just asking for a swift kick in the shins.

Speaking of bottle-necks. The Tim Horton’s downstairs operates efficiently on most days, except during rush hour. They have 4-6 people on cash, taking orders and another 2-3 people strictly getting the coffee. The problem lies at the end, where there is only one toaster. 2 people are making bagels and breakfasts at the end near the toaster. So there are 6 people taking food orders but only 2 people making them? The line up of people waiting for food is incredible!

They’ve put in place a ‘bingo’ like system, where you get a number when you order your food, and when your foods ready, some girl at the end yells out your number. I like to yell BINGO and ask what I’ve won. It’s not funny to anyone other than me.

There are two shift supervisors at this Tim’s that we like to call ‘Hitler’. Yes we call them both Hitler, we’re not that creative. There is ‘Hitler’ and ‘Hitler-with-glasses’ and this is how we know the difference. They run a tight ship! I’d hate to work there under them, yelling this and that, you’re always wrong, they’re always right. They embarrass their staff in front of customers. I feel bad for the young Nazis-in-training. Hitler-with-glasses is rude to customers too, so we generally just avoid her.

So one day I get stuck in this bottle-neck waiting for my bagel. A quite girl calling out the numbers says “eighteen” and since that’s my number, I say “yes, that’s me.” She smiles and says “ok” but doesn’t give me any food. Then Hitler yells “NUMBER EIGHTEEN” and I say “YES, THAT’S ME!” Hitler laughs at my joke, but still doesn’t give me food.

I’m really confused. Why would they call my number and not give me anything? Maybe 5 minutes later the quiet girl gives me my bagel and apologizes for the wait. I don’t mind waiting, these things happen. But I’m still puzzled as to why I was yelled at by Hitler when no food was ready. You’d think they’d say “number 18, we’ve forgotten you, you’re coming up next” not just yell my number like the place is on fire, but not tell me why. Weird.

I have some more posts to write today, but I should probably get some work done first.

To be continued…