What Really Grinds My Gears – 17

July 23, 2009 by Jac Star in Rants
27 Comments

You know what really grinds my gears – people who say “no offence” and actually expect people not to get offended.

For example, I actually heard someone (on TV) say “I don’t want my son to be… no offense… gay.” What was worse was that she followed it with “so I always walk around the house naked.”
 
Yeah, because seeing mom naked will stop one from being gay. Who says that?

Saying something like “no offence, but I really don’t like that shirt you’re wearing” is hardly offensive. That would be a personal opinion and could be countered with “I’m not offended, I really do like my shirt.”

But “I don’t want my son to be gay, no offence” – seriously? It’s not a lifestyle choice, for crying out loud. That’s as offensive as saying “I really don’t like white people, no offence.”

Sure, everyone is entitled to their opinions but it doesn’t mean they are not insulting.

Are you less offended because she threw in a “no offence” remark? I hardly think so. Can you imagine if the comment was actually directed to a homosexual (as opposed to the camera and general audience)?

I wonder what they’d say to that, if they dignified it at all with a response. “WHAT?! Did you just say that? Oh wait, my bad… you said “no offence” so therefore it’s not an insult and I have no reason to get all defensive.” – Ahem, not bloody likely.
 
I’m offended, and it’s not even a personal attack.

no offence

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  • valenciapr

    Um, it's "offense" – no offense ;-) And, I couldn't agree more. Up there with, "I'm not racist, but…" – if someone prefaces a statement with that? Yes, yes they are.Interesting post!

  • http://www.justkickinit.ca jacstar

    you must be American hahaI write my blogs from a Canadian perspective so I always choose the Canadian spelling. Canada generally follows the British Dictionary so "offence" is correct. However, "offense" is also accepted.If you're offended, i can change it loland i totally agree – if you say "no offence/offense" you're just copping out on an insult. You know you shouldn't say it, but you're attempting to get away with it by passing the buck… so to speak thanks for reading!

  • http://www.justkickinit.ca jacstar

    I actually saw it Tuesday night while watching "Make me a Supermodel" – they had to pose nude and one of the girls said "i'm comfortable with my nudity, i practise because… " etc etcwhich i thought was completely ridiculous

  • http://dannybrown.me Danny Brown

    Seeing your mother walk around naked might put you off sex for life, never mind what your orientation is. Holy droopy parts!!

  • http://www.justkickinit.ca jacstar

    i have a blog post coming this weekend that will tie in nicely with that commentbut all i have to say to that is "here here" or "hear hear" whatever makes senseand … mmm strawberries

  • http://wickedlilpixie.com/ Pixie

    I'm with Valen, I absolutly detest when someone says "I'm not racist but..", I want to strangle them. And it's usually followed by something that DOES offend me and I make it known.

  • rogerwhissel

    I guess it all depends on what follows: no offence… I think you are wrong would be OK…no offence… i think you're an idiot for thinking that would be quite wrong. As for the mom naked thing …well Jac I will behave and just say it depends whose mommy we are talking about…LOL

  • dragonneko

    I look forward to reading it!^^I ate a whole pack of strawberries. I don't know if it's the strawberries, or the sugar I added to them, but I'm feeling much happier now, lol.

  • http://www.justkickinit.ca jacstar

    lol

  • http://www.justkickinit.ca jacstar

    lol you're a slimeball sometimes Whissel

  • rogerwhissel

    I know but it's Danny's fault…he brought it up….I might try it with the wife tonight and tell her…no offence but i feel a tad gay tonight and see if the clothes disappear.

  • http://www.justkickinit.ca jacstar

    HA!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Darien-G/821960525 Darien G

    Thats stupid. I think that comment was from Tyra, i remember watching and thinking you can be as naked as you want if your child is gay female parts wont really make a difference. I have two sons and if they ever came to me and shared their sexuality. I am perfectly fine , I gave birth to them and I will not lose them over something as simple as liking the same sex. Who cares, we as people have no right to judge. No ones perfect.

  • Anonymous

    I say "no offense" sometimes, but it's always for little things like my opinion on things. I wouldn't take offense if someone said, "No offense, but I don't like the cookies you baked." Not everyone will like what you do or say, but to say things like what that woman said, ugh.

    I think adding "no offense" made that comment worse, and what bothers me even more is that she's trying to make her son not be gay. If being gay is a part of who your child is, you should love it. I just can't understand how some parents can stop loving their child, just because they're gay, or choose a different religeon, or anything like that. I mean, I could understand cutting off connections to your child if they became a serial murderer or pedophile, but for being gay…it's just stupid. People should learn to be more accepting of other people.

    I get so angry when I hear people make stupid comments like that. I'm gonna eat some strawberries, maybe that'll put me in a better mood :P

  • Emily_F

    Ahaha! Jac, you always make my day!It's true though, I completely agree with you. I think the best thing would be to remark with something equally "unoffensive" like, "Well, no offence, but I don't like your shirt either."lol :P

  • http://www.facebook.com/jmorgandavis Jessie Davis

    I heard her say it too! My boyfriend and I just turned and looked at each other like, "did that really just come out of her mouth?!" Yikes.I think adding "no offence" makes it worse because the speaker KNOWS that what they're about to say is obnoxious and would probably be better left unsaid – but they're going to be ignorant and just go ahead and say it anyway. It's ridiculous.Also, here's some food for thought: if a Canadian is quoting an American, which spelling should they use? The writing is Canadian, but the quote itself is American. Whoa dude… :P

  • Josh Patel

    Yup , sometimes its so irritating when you come across people like these, they say watever they wish to with a not so sweet no offense preceding it.How sweet!!!!!!!!Btw, I really like your blog so I submitted it to Viralogy.com. That will help more people discover it! If you want you can claim your blog at http://www.viralogy.com/blogs/my/320 which will also help your ranking. Hope you get more traffic through that! Anyway, I hope you have a great week and that you will be successful in every activity you engage in!

  • http://www.justkickinit.ca jacstar

    thanks Josh, that's really sweet :)

  • http://www.justkickinit.ca jacstar

    lol Jessie – things that make you go hmmmm

  • jessicashaw

    haha roger, i don't know about you boy. this is another thing that i actually never even thought about. i remember seeing that somewhere, where the girl walked around naked infront of her son but i just don't remember where. it would probably put you off sex for life.. like seeing your mom walk around naked is just damn awkward. i don't think i've really used this term more than once, and if i did, i'm sure if i did it wasn't to say, "well i don't like gay people but no offence.." probably something small and nothing to fret about. but yes, nice blog (Y) <- thumbs up.

  • http://www.justkickinit.ca jacstar

    lol thanks

  • lorraineteenbookaddi

    Hey Jac… you made some good points. However, I think the reason why people do say "no offence" is to show that they are trying to be considerate of the person's feelings but they need to share their opinion of something… so they say it to basically say: "I dont really want to hurt your feelings and I dont want to come across as insulting, but….." But again, sometimes "no offence" doesn't cover it. It could still be very offensive.

  • http://www.justkickinit.ca jacstar

    in this situations that i'm ranting about, i feel that the comment could be better left unsaid. like "no offence, i don't want my son to be gay" – that's one of those things that shouldn't have been said. but "no offence, the actor on your top 5 list annoys me to tears" – that's not offensive lol, it's just a disagreement and an attempt to spare feelings

  • lorraineteenbookaddi

    Hey Jac… you made some good points. However, I think the reason why people do say "no offence" is to show that they are trying to be considerate of the person's feelings but they need to share their opinion of something… so they say it to basically say: "I dont really want to hurt your feelings and I dont want to come across as insulting, but….." But again, sometimes "no offence" doesn't cover it. It could still be very offensive.

  • http://www.justkickinit.ca jacstar

    in this situations that i'm ranting about, i feel that the comment could be better left unsaid. like "no offence, i don't want my son to be gay" – that's one of those things that shouldn't have been said. but "no offence, the actor on your top 5 list annoys me to tears" – that's not offensive lol, it's just a disagreement and an attempt to spare feelings

  • lorraineteenbookaddi

    Hey Jac… you made some good points. However, I think the reason why people do say "no offence" is to show that they are trying to be considerate of the person's feelings but they need to share their opinion of something… so they say it to basically say: "I dont really want to hurt your feelings and I dont want to come across as insulting, but….." But again, sometimes "no offence" doesn't cover it. It could still be very offensive.

  • http://www.justkickinit.ca jacstar

    in this situations that i'm ranting about, i feel that the comment could be better left unsaid. like "no offence, i don't want my son to be gay" – that's one of those things that shouldn't have been said. but "no offence, the actor on your top 5 list annoys me to tears" – that's not offensive lol, it's just a disagreement and an attempt to spare feelings