Tatiana Del Byebye

It took long enough, but finally Tatiana Del Toro is gone. I won’t miss her a bit.
The thing with her is, she’s not a bad singer, but she’s so obnoxious it’s painful.

When she first auditioned for American Idol, she had zero accent. The only time you heard a hint of Spanish in her was when she pronounced her name. And you know she did it that way on purpose. Rolling her R’s and giving it some ethnic flavour.

She talks way too much, if the camera is there and rolling so his her mouth. She says she wants to be an actor/singer/director/producer/dancer and the list goes on. There’s nothing she can’t do, it seems. When someone asks ‘how are you today, Tatiana’ the response is terribly long-winded. “I’m so good, and so happy, and so proud, and so grateful to be here, thank you so much, I can’t thank you enough, I love you, I love the judges, I love America, I love everyone, thank you so much, thank you thank you, my dreams and my prayers are coming true. This here is for all the guys that said I’d have to sleep with them to make it somewhere.” Yadda yadda yadda. I should also mention the annoying laugh that she inserts after every other word.

Did anyone else notice the comment about the guys she had to sleep with? Ok I highly doubt anyone would have said that to her. And even if it’s a common phrase that she hears, why EVER would you announce that on TV?

So after all the crying, bowing, laughing, talking, and other obnoxious manoeuvres, she finally earns a spot on the TOP 36. When it’s time for her group of 12 to sing, she chooses some ridiculous Whitney Houston song. Now any Idol fan knows that you cannot sing a Whitney song unless you’ve got the pipes and can blow it out of the water. No one ever can. I’m surprised, but Tatiana isn’t completely horrible. She does OK. When she’s done singing she stands there and waits for the judges criticism. She’s calm and patient. The judges ask her where the giggling drama queen is, and she says that she never in her life has ever laughed like that and all of her friends thought it was strange that she was laughing like that.  I doubt it. She was laughing like that for weeks. She clearly doesn’t have any friends.

Ryan asks her how she’s feeling and she says “it is up to fate and it is up to God and it is up to America” and she continues on with this string of words until Ryan shuts her up. All of a sudden her accent is back. She makes several references to her friends in Puerto Rico, and the Spanish is flowing. She was weird, and serious, and calm, and disturbing, and heavily accented. I have no problems with accents, I just don’t like the people that put them on and try to pass it off as real. Tatiana is Spanish. I get that. But for the last month of auditions there was zero accent and now all of a sudden your English is broken?

The next night the results are in and she’s out. Excellent. She’s crying and back to her drama queen self and all the cameras are on her despite the fact that the winner is singing his winning song. Honestly Tatiana, they were only taking 3 people from each group of 12. You had a 25% chance. Actually it was less of a chance because they were bringing in the top guy, the top girl, and the person with the next highest votes. You can’t be too surprised that you weren’t up there. You can’t take it personally, you just have to know that there were other people better than you. And if you don’t want to believe that, well believe that America voted wrong… but that was bound to happen so get over it.

The judges brought her back for wild card night. This means she has a second chance and she should be grateful. They give her a one minute video to say whatever she wants (they did this with each of the callbacks). Guess what. Her accent is back and heavier than ever before. And she was doing that weird, calm, psycho thing again.

She gets on stage for her second chance and the dumbass sings the same song. She sang this song at least once in auditions, once on stage as part of the TOP 36, and now again for her call back.

Paula calls her on her accent. She says “I’ve never heard that accent before” and Tatiana responds with “I’m like Jorge (another contestant), I think in Spanish and when I get emotional my English comes out funny” I don’t believe that at all and neither does anyone else.

Simon calls her on the song choice “If it didn’t work the first time why do you think it would work this time?” Then they cast her off.
She’s not worthy of the Idol show and she’s just too damn theatrical. I had to close my eyes while she was singing because I just couldn’t deal with her constant camera-awareness.

So she doesn’t make it back and the good ol’ drama queen comes out again. She’s crying and hyperventilating and Paula takes the time to tell her “this isn’t the end of the road” which I thought was nice of Paula. As far as I’m concerned, she’s blown any chances of a future career in fame. Maybe you should have taken those guys up on their sex offer – that probably would have gotten you further in life. If not, at least it would have gotten you sex. That’s probably out of the picture now too.