Invisible

February 10, 2009 by Jac Star in Stories
15 Comments

invisibleSo I noticed a few weeks ago that I am invisible.

I don’t mean the emo-kid ‘no one notices me so I’m going to cut myself’ invisible, I mean the wicked, cool Fantastic Four, superhero invisible.

The best part is that I don’t even need to be naked. I can be fully clothed in a big, puffy winter jacket, scarf, tuke, mittens, ski boots, snow pants and still go unnoticed.

How is this possible? Well I noticed that I can walk a straight line on a direct path and people don’t seem to see me. They don’t move over, they just go on their merry way as if I’m not even there.

So here I am walking on a sidewalk, sticking to the right as if it’s driving rules. Three people are coming towards me. Not one of them moves over. So I have to walk in the mud or in the snow so they can get by.

If this only happened the one time, I’d go ahead and assume that they were so engrossed in their conversation that they didn’t notice me. But this happens all the time.

I proved it to my husband as we were walking in a mall. I said “WATCH THIS! NO ONE CAN SEE ME AND APPARENTLY NO ONE CAN HEAR ME EITHER” and I proceeded to walk through a group of people who didn’t bother to move one way or the other.

You know what the best part is about this super power? Aside from the part about me not having to walk around naked for it to be effective, people can still feel. So there I am walking with my elbows out and bumping everyone that passes. And you know it hurts. Don’t even try to hide it. I bump people out of my way.

They turn and look and give some cut-eyes, maybe even cuss their teeth, but they can’t see me, right? Whatever, maybe you’ll notice me next time.

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  • http://intensedebate.com/people/dannyBROWN Danny Brown

    Ah, boo, and this is why I love you so. Luckily you're holding onto my hand or else I fear I may lose you in the crowd…!

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/JacStar JacStar

    huzzah… you can still track me by the trail of people that i've left knocked over. I'll create a good path

  • http://www.meniscuscurve.com Jessie

    I'm so glad there are others like me out there! It even includes me having to stop reading my book while waiting for a streetcar because someone has decided that they'd like to stand almost EXACTLY where I'm standing, to the point that I can't even hold an eight inch book in front of me. Let's start a movement, standing up for the rights of invisibles everywhere!

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/JacStar JacStar

      sounds good to me Jessie. I also find this in the elevator. Book or no book, these people keep backing up until they are pressed against the wall, they are clueless to the fact that i'm squished between. I know i'm short, but C'MON! can't you feel movement back there?

  • Anonymous

    Are you sure you re not Gordie Howe grandaughter. Another good technique would be to hide a woopie cushion under your coat and when somebody bumps you you press the cushion and voila: instant recognition.

    • http://www.justkickinit.ca Jac Star

      LMAO Roger!
      actually this is similar to what my husband and i did in a cuban airport. there was this young couple in line in front of us. and they were so busy taking pictures of everything (in the small cuban airport) that they would not move forward in the line.

      there were these dogs sniffing for drugs and this couple (probably teens) thought it was the funniest thing so they were taking pics. My hubby and i stood an inch behind them and started breathing really loudly – and they’d move forward… we kept doing this until we were through the gate. Turned out they were staying at the same resort and we pissed them off all week. the girl tried to take me out on some stairs – it was a game of chicken… i won. stupid girl…

      Jac Star’s last blog post..What Really Grinds My Gears – 14c

  • Anonymous

    Are you sure you re not Gordie Howe grandaughter. Another good technique would be to hide a woopie cushion under your coat and when somebody bumps you you press the cushion and voila: instant recognition.

    • http://justkickinit.ca jacstar

      LMAO Roger!

      actually this is similar to what my husband and i did in a cuban airport. there was this young couple in line in front of us. and they were so busy taking pictures of everything (in the small cuban airport) that they would not move forward in the line.

      there were these dogs sniffing for drugs and this couple (probably teens) thought it was the funniest thing so they were taking pics. My hubby and i stood an inch behind them and started breathing really loudly – and they'd move forward… we kept doing this until we were through the gate. Turned out they were staying at the same resort and we pissed them off all week. the girl tried to take me out on some stairs – it was a game of chicken… i won. stupid girl…

      <abbr>Jac Star’s last blog post..What Really Grinds My Gears – 14c</abbr>

  • Anonymous

    Are you sure you re not Gordie Howe grandaughter. Another good technique would be to hide a woopie cushion under your coat and when somebody bumps you you press the cushion and voila: instant recognition.

  • Anonymous

    I had this funny idea that you would have won. Has for me once when i was working i was on a closed project and this was for my eyes only but they were people fixing the inside of the building and i always had to stop when they came close so i actually did hide a woopie cushion and would use it when they came close. I actually told them i had a colostomy and it was not my fault. The look on their faces: priceless. So you gotta do what you gotta do.

  • Anonymous

    I had this funny idea that you would have won. Has for me once when i was working i was on a closed project and this was for my eyes only but they were people fixing the inside of the building and i always had to stop when they came close so i actually did hide a woopie cushion and would use it when they came close. I actually told them i had a colostomy and it was not my fault. The look on their faces: priceless. So you gotta do what you gotta do.

  • Anonymous

    I had this funny idea that you would have won. Has for me once when i was working i was on a closed project and this was for my eyes only but they were people fixing the inside of the building and i always had to stop when they came close so i actually did hide a woopie cushion and would use it when they came close. I actually told them i had a colostomy and it was not my fault. The look on their faces: priceless. So you gotta do what you gotta do.