So I noticed a few weeks ago that I am invisible.
I don’t mean the emo-kid ‘no one notices me so I’m going to cut myself’ invisible, I mean the wicked, cool Fantastic Four, superhero invisible.
The best part is that I don’t even need to be naked. I can be fully clothed in a big, puffy winter jacket, scarf, tuke, mittens, ski boots, snow pants and still go unnoticed.
How is this possible? Well I noticed that I can walk a straight line on a direct path and people don’t seem to see me. They don’t move over, they just go on their merry way as if I’m not even there.
So here I am walking on a sidewalk, sticking to the right as if it’s driving rules. Three people are coming towards me. Not one of them moves over. So I have to walk in the mud or in the snow so they can get by.
If this only happened the one time, I’d go ahead and assume that they were so engrossed in their conversation that they didn’t notice me. But this happens all the time.
I proved it to my husband as we were walking in a mall. I said “WATCH THIS! NO ONE CAN SEE ME AND APPARENTLY NO ONE CAN HEAR ME EITHER” and I proceeded to walk through a group of people who didn’t bother to move one way or the other.
You know what the best part is about this super power? Aside from the part about me not having to walk around naked for it to be effective, people can still feel. So there I am walking with my elbows out and bumping everyone that passes. And you know it hurts. Don’t even try to hide it. I bump people out of my way.
They turn and look and give some cut-eyes, maybe even cuss their teeth, but they can’t see me, right? Whatever, maybe you’ll notice me next time.
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